Scary Stories for Sleep-Overs #9

1. "The Boy Inside"
Jerry Elfman is constantly bullied for being ugly, which has earned him the nickname "Dogface." It's because he looks like an elephant. When his friend Ben asks why he doesn't stand up to the bullies, he says it's because he's afraid he'll get beat up. So Ben starts to pick a fight with them, but the bullies crack up when Ben's big argument is basically, "He can't help it if he's ugly!" The bullies then unleash some crushing burns, such as my personal favorite,

"Boy, when they were handing out ugly, you must've gone back for seconds!"

Now, I know what you're thinking: woah, chill out there, Dane Cook. It's the beginning of the story and you're already pulling all the stops? Well, you're right, but check this out: Jerry goes home and tells his mother about the bullying, who doesn't even deny the claims that he's ugly but rather insists that he's beautiful on the inside, much like the ugly duckling. This prompts Jerry's response: "Just what I need. Next I'm going to look like a bird!" So basically the writing sucks. Later, Jerry's sitting at his dining room table when he starts to feel tingling in his hands and wrists. It spreads up his arms and shoulders, and eventually he can't even feel them. His mother insists it's probably just the flu, but it spreads to his head and knocks him out, which I don't think the flu does.

When Jerry wakes up, he's in a hospital, and has a noncancerous tumor growing from his spine. His skin splits open and sheds, and underneath he's covered in a gross red liquid. Hey, I've seen Coccoon, I know what you're doing here, Allen R. Ury. And, crazy enough, Jerry wipes off the liquid to discover an attractive new boy. But when he gets up to walk out, his knees buckle and he feels another tumor. So, what, he's going to become even more handsome? Or will he pull an Amanda Bynes and do the opposite? Oh well, I can live with not knowing.

2. "The Girl in the Attic"
Lisa and her family are going to a cabin in the woods for a vacation. Lisa immediately has a bad feeling about it, and her family is extra mindful of her because she has heightened senses. She's like a lame superhero. The crew packs in the old-fashioned home, complete with VCR and fireplace, and sets up the room she'll share with her sister, Sara. But soon after, she hears a girl screaming for help. She searches the land nearby with her sister, but finds nothing. A few days pass, and nothing happens. And then, out of the blue, she hears another cry for help, but this time the crier throws in that she's in the attic. For someone who's supposedly dying, she's really helpful. It's like geocaching. But with people.

Lisa's dad checks the attic, but surprise surprise, nobody's in there. That night, Lisa is woken up when her father shakes her awake, telling her to get dressed because there's a fire. Lisa does so, but hears the girl after she leaves the house and decides to run back up to the attic. I can't really blame her for any of this, because it's a reasonable thing to do. That's no fun. The air fills with smoke behind her, stopping her father from finding her. I guess he's never heard of a fan before. But when she does go up to the attic, the trapdoor slams shut behind her and gets stuck. She calls for help, and realizes that she is saying the same things the crying girl said earlier. She heard herself in the future for no other reason than because whynot?, and when the floor gives in she knows she's going to die.

Well, this was a really clever and creative idea for a story. Only problem is, it's taken straight out of a Ray Bradbury short story collection called The Illustrated Man, from a story called "The Veldt." Great story by the way, one of my favorites. But that's classic Allen Ury for you, ripping off other stories. I must admit though, this is exciting. Let's try to identify the "inspirations" for all the stories, shall we?

3. "Rules is Rules"
That title would have been perfect back when I still used that "Did... Uh... Did You Even Go to School?" segment. I have to start doing those after-segment things again. Maybe when I stop reviewing short stories. But anyway, nameless 1st person protagonist and his friend Kevin Blayne are attending Camp Elkhart, a fun yet strict summer camp with tons of rules. The most hated rule is that you cannot swim after 5 pm, which is strange because the sun sets at nine there. The camp is run, of course, by an ex-police lieutenant named Vince Mancuso, and the boys' counselor is named "Mitch Logan." Wow. So one day Kevin convinces the protagonist to go out on the lake with him at four o'clock, and they swim across the lake. Then Kevin throws their paddle out into the lake so they can purposely disobey the rules and prove that the lake isn't dangerous after five. Even if there wasn't a lake monster, that's still a really stupid thing to do. Like, have fun sleeping in a tin boat, dumbass.

Oh, and then a tentacle rises up from the water and grabs the boat, emptying the children onto the lake. More tentacles come up and grab Kevin before a giant mouth with multiple rows of teeth comes up and eats him. OK, that actually is pretty terrifying. Jesus. Protagonist swims back somehow and tells the story to Lieutenant Vince, who then tells the Protagonist that rules are in place for a reason and that if anybody asks, it was a tragic boating accident. I guess I understand why he didn't close the camp since his life savings were put into it, but why not move it to another lake? It's gonna cost him, to be sure, but it will cost him cash as oppose to children's lives. But the protagonist decides on his slow walk to the cabin that he will spread the word about what happened there. He knocks on his cabin door, and Mitch Logan informs him that he's three minutes late. How is Mitch Logan not in prison? His name alone should be enough, not to mention the fact that he just kind of lets campers die. Then the protagonist begs to be let in while a giant, hairy monster gets closer, and Mitch reminds him that the rules are in place for a reason. Now that I think about it, the camp owner must have bought the land for next to nothing with all those monsters running around. Future landowners take note.

OK, so this one was pretty good. Of course Pirate of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea come to mind, but PotC was well after this was written and TTLUtS's squids don't have much resemblance, so I don't know. I mean, of course the whole theme/plot of "break the rules and discover horrible unexpected consequences" isn't a new one, but I can't remember any specific medias. I'm a failure. Well, on to the next.

4. "Sound Bites"
Jeanne loves listening to the new teen heartthrob, Hunter Smith. All she does is listen to music, but she does it so loudly that her father goes upstairs and yells at her. He then unplugs her speakers and takes away music privileges until she gets her grades up. OK, I know parents often take away toys, games and TV, but music? What parent stops his/her kid from listening to music? Jeanne is just heartbroken, because music has been her comfort and solace ever since her mom died of cancer. That's... wow. So much heavier than I expected, and it's made sadder that it's the only plausible thing in this story. So Jeanne goes to school and they pass around headphones like the music's heroin. So Jeanne decides to go to her friend's house and listen to Hunter Smith's newest album. When she goes to sleep that night, she is woken up at 2:00 am by the sound of music, which she soon recognizes as the album from earlier. She searches the house for the source, but it just gets louder and louder until eventually it's all she can hear and she's carried into "a place of madness." What happened?

I'm pretty sure this story was too stupid and nonsensical to rip off of anything.

5. "Night Terrors"
The story starts as Doug Snow (no relation to Jon Snow, because Jon Snow's not a whiny bitch) is awoken by his father's unconscious screams. He goes to his parents' room but is told to go back to sleep by his mother. The next morning, Doug learns that his father is suffering from night terrors. This continues for three nights until Doug decides that he has to do  something about it. He and his little sister whine to his dad about his awful nightmares that wake the kids up because I guess they've never heard of earplugs. The siblings learn that their father had problems like this before, and that it will pass with time. But that night, Doug wakes up to his father and mother screaming, but his mother is saying "No! Don't touch me," instead of his father's bloodcurdling screams. He walks in to see his mother with a bump on her face and found that his dad had hit her in his sleep. Wow. This just got way too real. Children's horror, meet domestic abuse. By the way, "Don't touch me." Don't touch me. Goes really well with the other themes of breaking rules, doesn't it? Wow.

Doug's father agrees to take medication, but Doug's mother starts screaming again and it sounds like glass is breaking in their room. Doug rushes over and sees his father with a golf club, going after his mom because the medication stopped him from waking up. Holy Jesus. Doug mans up and attracts his father's attention and then trips over his sister. Smooth move, Ferguson. Doug's dad misses with the golf club and his wife gets his attention again, and one more time, just in case you couldn't catch my feelings on the matter: wow. Doug, meanwhile, runs into his room, grabs a piggy bank and smashes his father over the head with it, knocking him out. The next morning, the family flushes the pills. And later on down the road, Doug hears his father scream and his mother slap him quiet, as is the new daily ritual. More abuse, cool cool.

6. "Faces"
As the story opens, a baseball flies through Samantha's window, shattering it. She looks out the window to see two embarrassed children, Tommy and Stewart, holding a baseball and glove. Classic Stewart. Later, a wood board is put over her broken window to keep out wind and rain. When she looks at the board, though, she sees the creases make a cat face. This is common, as she sees faces in lots of things, but she calls her dad nonetheless. He doesn't see it, of course, and though she feels threatened by it she does not attempt to eat it because she's a vegan. The next day, Samantha tells her friend Anne Besch, who is described as "gothic," about the incident. Anne suggests that it's a tree spirit, like the ones the druids communicated with. When Samantha asks whether the spirit is good or bad, Anne replies, "Now that's the final Jeopardy question, isn't it?" No, it's not, that makes no sense. I think Allen Ury's never seen Jeopardy.

When she gets home, Sam discovers that her room is in disarray. She tries to sleep later, but is surprised to hear moving at the foot of her bed. The plank is resting there, and when she starts to touch the face, it pops out and almost bites her. It then starts to work its way out of the wood. Huh, I thought coke was the worst drug kids take during school, but I guess they also take every drug at once. Terrified by her super-acid trip, Sam reasons that the best way to beat a wood-monster is with fire, so she gets lighter fluid and a lighter and lights that fool up. She grabs her parents and they escape while her house burns and the beast dies. Fast forward and Samantha is sitting in a mental institution. She had told the police about the monster, and they had locked her up. She felt safe, at least, until she sees a face in the ceiling. How did this suddenly become an awesome story?

7. "Scratcher"
Kent Newcomb is awoken by a scratching sound from nearby. He decides to investigate, and he walks downstairs to discover that the noise is coming from his garage. He turns on the light which spooks the clawed creature a little, but the scratching ultimately continues. The next morning, Kent checks out the garage and discovers what attracted the scavenger: his garage is overflowing with trash because the city's trash collectors went on strike. Also, it's reaching record heat and that combined with trash overflow makes for an awful stench. Now that I think about it, we'd all be screwed without trash collectors. Huh. Here's hoping they're happy over here in El City de los Angels, because I don't even know where trash goes after it gets in the one-armed truck.

That night, the scratching continues, and Kent wakes his dad when he yells at the unseen animal. They buy a wire-mesh cage trap but of course it's empty but activated the next day. Kent decides to sleep in his parents' minivan and stake out the garage, and he is reminded of a time where he camped out in the car as a child. Because what kid doesn't dream of sleeping in his mom's car. It's not directly said, but I assume Kent Newcomb entertains himself by picking box B. Oh, and then a monster made entirely of garbage jumps on the windshield. I don't know, kind of a trashy climax. I mean, my hopes for this story weren't high, but this is just rubbish. I know you're cringing, but I promise the puns won't stop until this absurd situation does. Kent actually honks and calls his dad, who walks in with a baseball bat just in time to get tackled by the trash monster. Wow, what garbage reflexes. In retaliation, Kent leaves the car and destroys the monster with a garden shovel. There's a valuable lesson in here somewhere. Kids, write to your local trash pickup-guy. Without them, we'd all be sleeping in our parents' cars.

8. "Shop Till You Drop"
This story's really bad.

It's about a girl named Casey who's a total shopaholic. She's shopping with her friend Joleen when she stumbles upon a red purse. She discovers that she's short ten dollars, but finds ten dollars in the purse. Then she goes and possessedly buys everything she can with money that magically appears in the purse. The big climax comes when Casey falls on the escalator and somehow gets the strap wrapped around her neck, which is bad because the other end of the strap is stuck in the escalator. I don't know how that works. Despite the fact that she's in the middle of a crowded mall, nobody moves to help her– classic humans, I guess– and Joleen ends up cutting the strap with her keys. The big twist at the end? Another girl ends up finding the same purse at the same place Casey found it. Cool so I guess it can respawn or what? Looks like another girl will have to suffer the same horrible curse of getting unlimited money.

So there's nothing special or good in this story. The only remarkable aspects are these sexy one-liners:

"Her azure blue eyes blazed like twin suns, and she hungrily licked her lips as if she were gazing at the world's greatest ice cream sundae."

"It's like shopping makes you high." I just include this because it's the only story I can remember that even halfway approaches the topic of kids doing drugs.

"'This place is great!' Casey gasped in awe.
'It's all junk,' Joleen said dismissively.
'I know,' Casey agreed, 'But it's great junk!'"

I think I've had more than enough reading about teenage girls buying things. Well, at least I can skip my weekly visit to Tumblr now.

Conclusion: I don't know what Allen Ury was smoking when he wrote this, but it's the most bizarrely bad collection by far. It's a strange mixture of terrible stories that make no sense, awful-to-decent stories that rip off of other things, and one diamond hidden in an absurd amount of rough (I'm referring, of course, to "Faces"). Well, see you this weekend, folks.

Scary Stories for Sleep-Overs #8

I guess they ran out of creative title names, huh?

Well, looks like my prayers were not only unanswered but completely unheard, as Don Wulfson does not write another Scary Stories for Sleep-Overs book ever. Instead, I get to read Craig Strickland. Well, let's dive in, shall we? Who among us isn't eager to find out why that yeti looks stoned?

1. "Spiderbites"
The story begins when Kativa wakes up and realizes that she has a large spider bite on her leg. She immediately starts yelling and waking up her parents and six-year-old sister, Natasha. They turn out to be the nicest family ever, as they spend the morning searching and cleaning Kativa's room. They find nothing, but realize that family love triumphs over all arachnids. Unfortunately, this is false, as Natasha reveals that she too got bit by a spider, during a family vacation, no less. Kativa interrupts her, though, because their conversation goes a little something like this:

"Hey Kativa, have you ever been bitten by a spider before?"
"No. Have you?"
"Yeah. In that hotel we stayed at, this spider came and–"
"Wait, Natasha, I see a serious problem with your story."
"What?"
"It's not about me."

The following night, Kativa gets bitten yet again. When Natasha hears, she claims she can relate because she was also bitten multiple times, but Kativa decides not to care. These siblings remind me of Axl and Brick Heck. That night, she sleeps in the guest room, but gets bitten yet again. Jeez, this spider must have some kind of grudge. That being said, it has good taste in victims. Later that day, Kativa's mom takes her to see an entomologist, appropriately named "Professor Weber." I can already tell I'll love this Craig guy. The professor can't tell what spider it is, but helpfully scares Kativa by telling her that there's a myth where if you get bitten by a spider four times, you become one. I wonder if he has a PhD.

Kativa has a very one-sided conversation about her predicament with her sister, probably because she's busy blogging on Tumblr that she's always been a spider in a girl's body. She sleeps in her parents' room that night, but wakes up to see a very large spider with Natasha's head biting her neck. What a gross image. Natasha reasons that Kativa will finally have time to play with her now that they're both becoming spiders, and then proceeds to become exactly like a spider. While that does sound pretty scary, I feel like this problem could easily be solved with a really large shoe.

2. "Bloodmobile"
Joe and Vince are twins, out camping with their family. While playing frisbee with his brother, Joe stumbles upon a creepy, weird-smelling RV. Not much happens after that. Vince's family goes hiking and has a picnic, which was probably boring in the moment and is even less exciting to read about. I think they play more frisbee. Uh... I've been watching The Wire. That's been fun. Oh, and then Joe and Vince discover that the people in the RV are vampires. They actually tilt a mirror towards them and see that they have no reflection. However, their clothes are still visible, which is a nice touch because I always wondered how people's clothes became vampires too. The two of them decide to laze around and sleep, because vampires camping a few hundred feet away is not a pressing issue. They hear the door open but once again, they would rather play frisbee. The next day, the twins break into the vampire RV and find a couple coffins.

The two preteens rip off the curtains and incinerate the vampires. But on the way home after a deceptively easy victory, the twins notice that their parents have no reflection. I liked this story, but it could have used a little less frisbee.

3. "Bone Girl"
Robin is walking home from school when, yet again, a kid yells taunts at her. She is bullied in an extremely uncreative way, yet she somehow still feels inferior to her tormentors. They call her "Bone Girl," not because she's skinny or looks like Dr. Temperance Brennan, but because her dad collects tons of skeletons. Then, a bunch of kids run away from a nearby fence giggling, though I'm not sure what the joke of yelling "Why don't you get some flesh to cover those bones of yours," was. I don't know, maybe you had to be there. Anyway, Robin walks in to her bone-filled house (with animal, bird, and people skeletons), and makes herself a sandwich. Her dad, Dr. Tim Meza, walks in with the skeleton of a bobcat for no other reasons than, "Oh, spooky, skeletons!"

Robin tells her father about her bullying problem and he suggests that Robin educate her friends on skeletons. Yeah, I also find that the best way to stop a bully is by giving them more ammunition. Robin considers this, but finds that the next day, in a rare instance, preteens drew something other than penises in somebody else's notebook. They drew Robin as a skeleton, as if that would be her Halloween costume. Once again, you probably have to be there. Robin had nearly given up until her father tells her that he'll be at a convention on Halloween. She takes the chance to invite a bunch of bullies over and show them her father's collection of skeletons. They play games including "shake the skeleton's hand," and "pin the tail on the timber wolf." Yes, it's just as exciting to read about as you might imagine. Luckily, though, it leads to this little gem:

"'Wow!' Monica said a second later, 'Bones really do feel like cold wood!'"

Everybody has fun for some reason, but when they leave, the skeletons disappear. Then, angry at being moved and used as party decorations, they kill Robin and make her into a skeleton. I just have one small comment– well, more of a question, really– who thought this story was a good idea?

4. "Things from the Jungle"
Benjamin lives with his mom in what I assume is a large urban setting. Together, they own and operate a shop called "Things from the Jungle," which sells plants imported from Africa. But Ben always hears rustling and feels staring eyes from "the green shadows." I don't think that's how shadows work, Strickland. Anyway, one day, the store gets a new shipment of plants, so Ben and his mom show customers the newest vegetation. But after they close Mushnik's Flower Shop Things from the Jungle, they discover that one of their regulars never went home. Oh I wonder what could have done this unbeleafable act. The plants, it was the plants.

Benjamin shows around other customers the following day, including a family with three misbehaving children (redheads, of course). That night, he learns that they too disappeared. When he and his mom hear rustling in the leaves overhead, they call the police. Now I've seen The Wire, as I mentioned earlier, so I pretty much know everything about big city police and just crime in general. I seriously doubt they would take the time to check out a flower shop for African animals. I wouldn't. But they do, and they find nothing. So, of course, Benjamin believes that the best course of action is to visit the store the following night, where he sees an old homeless man sneak in and get snatched by a bunch of vines. Just to get across the point that this was an amazing occurrence, he italicizes the text. So, annoying. Benjamin escapes from the killer plant and returns to his home, where the plants that his mom planted start strangling him. I used the word "plant" far too many times in this story, so I'll say it's bad. Also it's bad.

5. "The Black Balloon"
This story is first person, and it never says the protagonist's name, so we'll call him Jimmy. Anyway, Jimmy wasn't invited to his neighbor Oscar's birthday, because Oscar is kind of a jerk and Jimmy calls him out on it. Jimmy decides to watch Oscar's birthday party and look bored, as if the joke's on Oscar. After a while, a hired magician shows up. He calls himself Zatlin and proceeds to pull off "amazing" tricks, such as separating rings and levitating a birthday cake, while being berated by Oscar. If I wanted to see an old man attempt magic, I would have made myself finish The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. And to finish the act, he pulls out inflated balloons from his robe and gives each kid one of his/her favorite color. Then, as he's leaving, he approaches Jimmy about why he's not at the party. Jimmy tells him, and Zatlin gives him a black balloon. If only he had gotten The Black Balloon, because even that would have been less painful than what happens next.

Jimmy discovers that the balloon serves as a voodoo balloon, as whatever he does to it affects Oscar's head. Every time Oscar insults a birthday guest, Jimmy does increasingly cruel things to the balloon. He goes from flicking it to misshaping it, transforming Oscar's head, to just hitting it. I mean, Oscar does kind of deserve it; he acts like a little shit to everybody. No guest is safe. He insults everyone, either because of their body weight, body shape, or face. How does this kid have friends to go to his party? But anyway, it ends, and Jimmy decides to give the balloon to Oscar's family. He ties it to the fence, where it gets pierced by a hook hanging from a tree and the story ends with Oscar and his mom screaming. Whoops.

6. "Sleep-Over at Annette's"
Annette's a pretty shy girl. So naturally, she gets picked on. Now, I know I said the last story was painful, but this one makes "The Black Balloon" seem like an angel's kiss. Three stuck up, high-as-cliffs popular girls are invited to Annette's house for a sleepover, so naturally they go to insult her. Her parents awkwardly greet them, and then leave. First, the girls insult Annette's pizza, then her games, then her personality, social life, physical appearance, etc. This story is sadism, and these girls are animal...s. And Annette just takes it; she just twists and turns like a skeleton key. They don't even talk in code, they just straight up abuse her. If only her mother was a vampire, then she could protect her. But no; it takes two hours of insults before Annette reveals that she only invited them over because her parents are hungry, because surprise, they're werewolves. Then they eat them.

P.S. If you caught the Margot and the Nuclear So and So's references, congrats, you're musically enlightened. If you didn't, however, please check them out; I've been listening to them for a while and I definitely think they deserve more recognition, because they're heavenly. So if you're a fan of calm, soulful music, or even if you're not, just listen to a song or two. "Broadripple is Burning" and "Skeleton Key" are my personal favorites, but they have quite a few good ones. I'm not even getting paid for this (not that anyone would sponsor a children's horror review blog. I mean, come on people), I just love the band. So check them out.

7. "Christmas at Mountain Hollow"
I don't even know. This family stays at this remote cabin for Christmas when this eight-foot-tall snow beast, which I'm guessing is the guy from the cover, attacks. They have the most human reactions, it's surreal. The parents get involved, so that's refreshing, and it's just so unexpectedly realistic and gripping I was caught off guard. Then they escape and stay in a hotel for Christmas instead. Eh, better than hanging with extended family.

Conclusion: These stories were mostly unremarkable, which is both good and bad. There's a common presence of karma and popular monsters, and I don't think any of these were extremely great or godawful. So, in conclusion, I can confidently say that this is one of the OK-est books in the series.

Mega Scary Stories for Sleep-Overs

We have a new author this book. Let's see how Don Wulffson is compared to the infamous Q.L. Pearce.

1. "The Corpse of Mr. Porter"
It's Halloween, and yet somehow, our middle-school protagonist is bored. Danny is the one child alive that somehow doesn't like trick-or-treating, so he asks his dad what to do. He says that when he was a young-un, he used to play pranks on trick-or-treaters, such as jumping out and scaring them. For once, I sympathize with the protagonist because of his response: "lame." But it gives Danny an idea to scare his sister during her sleepover, so he calls up his friend Steve and proposes that the two of them dress up as the recently deceased Mr. Porter. They find an old-man mask (?), and go up to Danny's attic to find some old-fashioned clothes (?), a ratty wig (?), and a pair of small spectacles (?????). Downstairs, Danny's sister, Sheryl, and her friends are telling scary stories. All of a sudden, they hear knocking and loud noises, and they begin to get scared. They call Sheryl's parents and are told that they're on their way home from their party. Then somebody knocks on the door and, against all common sense and the concept of stranger danger, the girls open it. A hyper-realistic Mr. Porter stands there, before they close the door on him. Sheryl reveals that it's probably her brother, when Danny and Scott walk down the stairs in costume. Who is it now, Sheryl?

It's the dad. In a very clever and fun ending, it was the father that decided to trick his son to prove that he isn't "lame." He wanted to prove this by scaring children with an elaborate old man costume. Great job, bud. Good story, though.

 2. "Death Sight"
This is a bizarre story, and I'm not sure exactly how to summarize it. I guess I should start off by introducing the protagonist, Molly Lund, a shy girl with one brown and one blue eye. I'm trying to think of a reference to someone with heterochromia... I think one of the Ghostbusters has it. I don't know. Cool condition, though. But anyways, Molly is constantly ostracized because she's a little strange. The school bullies torment her constantly, trying to get her to tell them test answers because, though they don't know it, she can see the future. Now I really want different colored eyes. But despite constant abuse, including throwing a rock through Molly's window and threatening to hurt her and her parents, Molly saves the bullies from a runaway train which would have hit them. Well, she's a better person than I, I guess. But if she had the power to change the future, couldn't she have just stopped herself from being the bullies' bitch in the first place? Oh wait, sorry guys, I guess I'm questioning the plot of a time travel-based children's story again. Moving on.

3. "Fountain of Horror"
Miguel and his friends Colby and Bonnie go out every summer to find the Fountain of Youth in the Florida Everglades. Fun. Well, on their way, they run into a couple older bullies, the Laevich brothers, who steal their food and taunt them. I'm pretty sure Don Wulffson was bullied as a child, because so far two out of three stories have settings like a Stephen King coming of age book. After some exploration and history lessons, the party stumbles upon some chainmail armor, and eventually finds a stream running uphill. There, they find an upside down, floating fountain with pink water. Miguel wants to drink, but Bonnie insists that they bring the water to "the lab" first. Oh, that's funny, the story didn't mention that one of the kids was the Boy Genius.

Then things take a turn for the undead when the kids are surrounded by the rotting bodies of past explorers. They manage to escape, and are warned never to drink the water by a zombified Spanish conquistador. But on the way home, the Laevich twins stop them and steal their pink water-filled canteen, gulping the water down. The protagonists just walk away and wish the bullies a long life. See, these guys are more my speed. But in all seriousness, this was a pretty good story.

4. "Wax Coffins"
That's a really good name for a story. And I think that this is one of the few times where the story lives up to its name. It begins as Linda and her brother Ricky are walking through a forest in Arkansas when they get the feeling they're being watched. Ricky spots some strangely large bees right before they meet an odd, rude beekeeper. A very strange conversation occurs during which Linda tells the man all about her life while he ignores her, and then she asks him some facts about bees. He tells her that bees can only gather one tenth of a pound of honey in their lives, but that he thinks they can make more. Well, they say that you should do what you love, and I think this might be the only guy in the world that loves bees. The siblings are similarly confused, and return home, passing child graves with the number five on each one. They also hear the beekeeper yelling to a woman that "five is the limit," but I'm sure the two occurrences are completely unrelated, like Omar Little and shotguns.

Linda decides to go back for some reason, where she sees a woman in a cloak in the beekeeper's house who tells her to leave. She tries, but is stung into submission by giant, ugly bees, and then forced to drink a sweet liquid. She wakes up in a cave, where she scratches at a wax encasing and screams for help. The beekeeper arrives with the hooded girl, who takes off her cloak to reveal a hideous, mutant bee-person, the hive's last queen. It's actually pretty gross. The beekeeper reveals that Linda will have to be the bees' queen for the next five years, right before football-sized bees arrive to fix Linda's wax encasing. I've never been scared of bees, and this is still a pretty scary story to me.

5. "The Electric Girl"
Oh boy, I'm gonna have fun with this one. You see, this story is about a young boy named Mike who got a job at a law firm because his father works there. He works with his friend Teddy, who's also fourteen. It's unclear what these two fourteen-year-old boys do at this law firm, but if I had to guess I'd say they're a mix of secretary, janitor, and office jokester. One day, these two boys come into the office and "helped themselves to a cup of cocoa;" you know, age appropriate morning drinks; when they discover that the company hired a beautiful new secretary named Ann-Marie. Later in the workday, a lightbulb mysteriously crashes to the ground, leaving Mike and Teddy to clean it up. Later, the photocopier breaks and the light fixtures crash to the ground. I half expect Ted to start talking to a TV right now, but then I remember that this story takes place during the day in a crowded office.

After the whole office starts technologically malfunctioning, the new secretary starts bawling and runs away. Mike and Ted find her address and go to her house. Now, at this point you may be suspecting that she's an electric ghost or something, which is what I  thought might be the case. But no. Because when Mike finds that she lives in a mansion and climbs up to look through the second story window, he sees an old man strap an old woman to a bed and pump her full of electricity. Boogie woogie woogie. She turns young and beautiful again right before his very eyes, and the two adults catch him and Ted outside the house. They reveal that they're siblings and provide the flawless, beautiful explanation that "Applying the basic principles of electrical biosphysics laid down by such great pioneers as James Watts and Alessandro Volta, I have been able to bring my sister back to life." This story must have been written by Mary Shelley on crack. I mean, damn, if electricity reversed the aging process we would all sign up for the electric chair. Anyway, this story ends with the siblings threatening to destroy Mike's father's pacemaker if he talked.

6. "Castle of Veins"
This is a vampire story in which vampires can change to look like different people, so that's pretty cool. In the story, a boy with the unfortunate name of "Lorn" moves to the town of Blackwell, Oregon. He's a loner, until Paul befriends him and tells him the story of a vampire that disguises himself and lures people to an ancient castle, the "Castle of Veins," and eats them. The reason I like this story is that it seems so obvious Paul is the vampire (he insists on showing Lorn the castle, watches him strangely, etc.) that you end up thinking it's Lorn, and it actually is Lorn. Usually, Paul would be the vampire and it wouldn't get much more clever than that. Or maybe I'm giving this book too much credit. Anyway, Lorn lures Paul further in the castle by saying he wants to see the vampire, and then reveals that he used his classic new kid trick to get him, which doesn't make sense seeing as how there was this whole backstory about Lorn having to move a lot because his dad's a traveling salesman, but whatever. And with no Simon Belmont to save him, Paul is eaten.

7. "Brain Pictures"
One day, Jenna was reading a book about psychic powers when she read about an experiment in which somebody took a picture of their eye and saw what they were thinking. She and her brother, Jerry, decide to try it, and Jenna's eye produces pictures of Jerry and then her dead dog. Then, she produces a picture of a boy she's never seen before, who then appears at their front door. This entire book is a string of the siblings taking pictures and then seeing the pictures in real life. I just hope this came before Goosebumps: Say Cheese and Die!. Anyway, it's a pretty good story, all things considered. By the end of the book, the siblings take pictures of a three-fingered hand, a scary-looking man, Jerry lying on the floor in a pool of blood, and a picture they don't look at. Then, they get robbed in broad daylight, and one of the robbers steals Jerry's jacket. He falls down and starts bleeding, I guess, and then it turns out the picture from earlier shows Jenna dead and then she gets grabbed by a three-fingered hand. Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

8. "Horror in Room 519"
Brian walks into his science classroom, expecting to meet the notoriously strict Mr. Zimmer, instead seeing a young, female substitute. He discovers that this is the new teacher, Ms. Gytry, and that Mr. Zimmer had died during Summer vacation. His friend ends this statement with, "Looks like we lucked out." Brian's in this little group of troublemakers, and because I don't want to keep track of them all, I'll just come up with a random name for the group. A name, any name, let's see... oh, how about the Hitler Youth. Anyway, Ms. Gytry is extremely nervous about being a teacher so the students decide to torment her as much as possible. The next day, the HY and a dozen other students glue all the lab equipment to the ceiling somehow and release all the animals. They break most everything and the school does nothing about it. If people had done that at my middle school, the faculty would have executed them. And to be honest, it wouldn't be the end of the world if Brian was executed too.

The next Monday, Ms. Gytry walks into the classroom to find a snake in her desk, and sees the class skeleton, which Mr. Zimmer donated, dressed up as a student and sitting in front of a desk. OK, that actually is pretty funny. But Ms. Gytry doesn't think so, and bursts into tears. The HY decides that they should step up their game to toughen up their teacher, but discover that somebody beat them to it and stole the class skeleton. That evening, Brian finds the skeleton in his closet and calls his friends to his house. He's got some skeletons in his closet and he don't know if no one knows it. They decide that Ms. Gytry didn't do it because "a teacher would get fired for a stunt like that." A teacher getting fired, that's probably the most fictitious element in this story. But it makes the kids apologize, and Ms. Gyntry tells them that Mr. Zimmer had donated his own skeleton to the classroom so he could be there always. So in terms of quality, this story's about as boring as Mr. Zimmer's sex life must have been. He was married to the job.

9. "Return from Nowhere"
This is a pretty boring story, so I'll go through it quickly: In the late 19th century, a man named Jeremy Tate disappeared off the face of the earth in the town of Doncella. Over a hundred years ago, Amber and her family are visiting the town when a man claiming to be Jeremy Tate walks into town, the same age as Jeremy when he disappeared. People ostracize him as a liar because, to be fair, that's insane. This story is like The Twilight Zone without the things that make The Twilight Zone great. Blah blah blah Amber disappears and reappears in 50 years and nobody believes her. She's lonely and sad for a few months before being approached by Jeremy. Sweet ending, but nothing happens for most of the story. One thing that does stand out greatly, though, is that Amber is a character I actually cared about. This is the first time I've felt positive feelings towards a protagonist from a Scary Stories for Sleep-Overs book. I've only ever felt negative or neutral towards them. I guess it truly is a President's Day miracle.

10. "The Dead Boy's Clothes"
This is a first person story narrated by Damon Hodges, who claims that the story is true in the beginning. Way to provide a change of pace, Wulffson. It all started when Damon and his brother Eddie went to shoot some hoops. Eddie was wearing the clothes he had gotten for his birthday at a thrift shop. During the game, Eddie got deep cuts in his hands and had to quit. However, to his surprise, they healed extremely quickly. All of a sudden, Eddie's arm started getting ripped open before his brother's very eyes. I know what must be causing this: basketball. Speaking of, they decided to return home and tell their parents, who didn't believe them. Some similar incidents occurred that day, and that night they were awoken by a shadowy boy. They asked him some questions, but the only thing he told them was his name, Griffin Bernau, before disappearing. Seems like kind of a waste of time. And to top it off, Eddie lost his jacket at the park. Worst week ever.

Damon called his friend, whose father's a journalist, about Griffin. He discovered that Griffin died on a rafting trip and was cut up and stuck in a drain in a dam. Oh God, that's a terrifying idea. So, Wulffson, for making me read about my fear of violently drowning and even worse, write in the past tense for two paragraphs, fuck you. But returning to the story, Griffin's parents decided to donate his clothes... to a thrift shop. Damon found his brother getting bruised and scratched while his lungs filled with water. He ripped the clothes off of him and saved his life. But they couldn't save him from an escaped murderer that was discussed at some earlier point in the story who I forgot to mention. He found Eddie's jacket. Whoops.

11. "Monster Bait"
Barbara is visiting her cousin Megan in Scotland. This is illustrated well, without the overwhelming stereotypes employed by such authors as M.D. Spenser and Q.L. Pearce. They're just kind of screwing around on the beach when they see a sick and dying Loch Ness Monster. That happened fast. They decide to get Megan's wheelchair-bound father, Kyle, to help them out. When they return, they find a bunch of people poking, climbing on, and taking pictures of it. They refuse to let Barbara and Co. help out, instead claiming the popularity and riches for themselves. Oh no, it's Under the Dome all over again. Well, it turns out the Loch Ness Monster was only bait, for more monsters, which eat everybody. I guess I'm happy with that, since it goes without saying that one should never poke something bigger than himself. I guess that means I should quit the blog, huh?

Conclusion: This was one of the best books so far. Many of the stories were clever and original, and I can't remember a single one I didn't like at least one thing about. Plus, I actually cared about the protagonist in one of them. I think this Don Wulffson guy and I could get along. I just hope he sticks around.

More Super Scary Stories for Sleep-overs

 1. "The Legend"
The story begins as Robyn and her friends decide to check out a store. I guess it's kind of an antique store. I don't know, this story's pretty stupid. Anyway, Robyn decides that she likes an obsidian pendant, and is told more about it by the clerk. It belonged to a Native American girl who was cursed by a shaman with eternal life with a pendant. And no, neither Robyn nor the clerk is the immortal girl, thank god. Actually, Robyn learns that the pendant in the store is a replica, and decides to steal the real one to become immortal herself. Oh, and also the cursed girl must return to the spot where she killed her lover every century. I don't know, I guess I didn't expect tweenage girls to do things this idiotically. Robyn goes to the spot and sees the girl, since the visitation date happens to be three weeks from the beginning of the story. She snatches the necklace off of her neck– which, might I say, is awfully rude– and frees the girl from her curse. She puts on the pendant and turns into a tree. She gets to live forever as a tree. 10/10 2spooky4me.

2. "The Colony"
Andrea and her siblings aren't smart, and thus decide to snorkel in an unpopular cove with a dangerous current, with absolutely no adult supervision. During this snorkel trip, they see an underwater castle. I'm completely serious. The castle door opens, so they do something intelligent for once and get out of there. But oh no, Andrea's older sister forgot her ring. So the group goes back out and is carried by the current down to the sunken castle. I don't think that's how currents work, but OK. When the group wakes up, they are in an air-filled room. They explore and find a pile of skulls, which prompts them to run into a room with dozens of hooded figures. This could be cool, the story hasn't been awful so far, I could definitely picture a great ending with a race of terrifying fish-monsters or mutants or something. But, that's not what happens. Are you ready for it? The twist? You might want to grab a drink or a noose for this. They're vampires. A race of underwater vampires. I couldn't make this up if I tried, people, this story was butchered beyond all redemption.

3. "Air Waves"
Oh, this story's pretty good. I mean, it's basically Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but it's still a great story. It's about aliens that hypnotize people with a tv show. The protagonist, Aaron, is immune to this because he wears thick glasses. Well, no story's flawless. The reason I like this story is that it manages to entrap you in the feeling of hopelessness at just the right moments, yet it's gripping all the way through. I don't know, it's just fun.

4. "Dead Letter Office"
The only remotely notable aspect of this story is that it revolves around a character misreading the word "body" as "booty." The protagonists thought that there was "booty," which I guess means valuables even if you're not a pirate or modern rapper, in an abandoned house, when in actuality there was an undead "body." Well it's pretty obvious who the real villain is here: illiteracy.

5. "The Wrath of Pele"
David and his family were vacationing in Hawaii when David decides that he has to have a volcanic rock, despite insistent warnings from a tour guide that Pele, the fire goddess, will murder him. Instead of simply ordering one from Amazon, David illegally steals one from private grounds and returns to Los Angeles (woot woot). Guess what happens? Come on, guess? I'll give you a hint: He went out of the frying pan and into the fire.

The pun is brought to you by my Hanukkah gift.

6. "Faithful Friends"
Seth, Monica, and Gary love to play tricks on the old, lonely man next door, Eli. Recently they pulled up his garden and salted the earth. Then, they filled his lawnmower engine with sugar and broke it. Finally, a truly lovable bunch of pranksters, people that I can respect and relate to. If only these studs could always be the main characters and oh my god these are the protagonists? These are the worst human beings ever. Recently, Eli's only friend and dog, Stitch, died, "and now the elderly man was really alone... it was even easier for Seth, Monica, and Gary to torment Eli." Die, just die. That can be your Christmas gift to me, to hang yourself. And just in case you thought I was overreacting, that I was getting too passionate about a children's story, the kids decide to dig up the dog and make the old man think that it came back to life. This gives way to one of the most gut-wrenchingly painful scenes in the series as the kids whimper outside Eli's window, and then watch and laugh from the bushes as he staggers around, desperately looking for some sign of his only friend, back from the dead. It's awful, but luckily, in the first positive ending in the series, the good guy wins and Eli mauls the children to death in werewolf form.

7. "Bungalow 14"
Stephen, Liz and his family are on a road trip. Stuck in the middle of New Mexico, the group decides to go to a little motel to stay the night. They talk to a strange man at the front desk named Sam, who wears a rattlesnake skull around his neck and warns them to leave. They refuse, and a tall woman with yellow eyes comes in and asks that Sam set them up in one of the bungalows. Bungalow... 5! This let me down too. But then Stephen leaves his room to explore, and sees an old man sleeping in one of the bungalows. Bungalow... 13! Boo. Oh, but then Stephen sees Sam go in and drag the old man into a different bungalow, Bungalow 14. Bring us there, I have a feeling that's where all the action's happening. Then a bunch of other stuff happens, and blah blah blah the weird woman from earlier is a snake goddess that kills the kids' parents. Just murders them. She then murders the kids, as Sam welcomes another family into the motel. Q.L. Pearce just killed off an entire family of four in his book. Jesus, man, you aren't George R.R. Martin, censor yourself.

8. "The Gift"
Rebecca's aunt always goes on trips to cool places and sends her niece back souvenirs. This time, she sent Rebecca an ivory hair clip from Singapore. Rebecca loves it, and openly scoffs in the face of the elephant that died for it. This story would be lame and totally unremarkable if not for the fact that the antagonist to this scary tale is a goddam elephant. Actually, the horror factor is manifested in the form of an elephant. Sharks are scary. Snakes are scary. Poisonous spiders are scary. Elephants, large land-beasts that reside in Africa, are not scary. No child is ever up at night wondering if an elephant's going to sneak into their room while they sleep, because that would be asinine. Or maybe something out of Dr. Seuss. Hit and miss, Pearce.

9. "Adrift"
Andrew and Lucas are out in the desert on a camping trip in this fun-filled adventure. Andrew's brother tells him a story about a pirate crew who stole a bunch of loot. The crew murdered the captain, and then crashed the ship into the desert (???). The crew all died, and are doomed to look for their treasure forever. Andrew has the idea to travel to an abandoned mine and grab an empty crate, then half-bury the crate near the camp so his friends will open it, thinking it's the treasure. Yet somehow, despite the effort, Andrew thinks that he wouldn't be the butt of the joke. So he drags Lucas along with him, and they find the real chest. He grabs some pearls and then a ghost ship starts sailing through the air toward them, and they faint. They wake up on the ship, where they agree to help the pirates find the treasure, only to find out that they already lost the mine, and must continue searching with the ghosts forever. Now, pirate ghosts, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. I hate that, it's like playing a tough level of a video game and someone says "Oh, why don't you just do such and such?" and I'm like, "Yeah, I'm trying, it's really hard ." So take my suggestion with a grain of salt, because I haven't been searching for centuries and don't have your experience, but maybe, perhaps, it might be a little possible that maybe it would be easier to search if you, I don't know, maybe get out of your flying fucking ghost ship.

10. "The Final Draft"
In this story, Venessa and her sister Samantha are the children of a pair of screenwriters whose horror writing comes to life. This would be fine, and a pretty spooky premise, but somehow the parents shift from a story about a ghostly woman to a story about a meteor crushing their exact house. And while getting crushed by a meteor would suck, getting haunted by ghosts is a lot cooler. And would make a better movie.

11. "The Exchange"
Javier wants to be a sorcerer really bad. Unfortunately, he's not a good person, so I can already tell that this ending will not be in his favor. Here's a fun quote: "He didn't like being around old people. He thought they were too slow and always talked about things that happened a long time ago as if those things were actually still important." Take that, elderly. So based off of this story, what do you think happens to Javier when a sorcerer offers to teach him magic in exchange for "his time?" Why, the scariest thing of all: growing up.

Conclusion: Though this book does include a couple notably good tales, most are just too ridiculous and simple to be viewed in a positive light.

Super Scary Stories for Sleep-overs

1. "Flesh and Blood"
Charlie's sad because it started to rain, so he can't play soccer with his friends. His dad suggests that he go to the museum, but he declines. Charlie's father says "Well, I tried," and leaves. He sure did. But Charlie decides to go anyway, because there will be a real mummy there, which is... something kids are interested in? He calls up his friend Sean, who calls up his friends Gordon and Kristy. Gordon is black, I think, so that's pretty remarkable. And Kristy's a girl. So basically all of these characters are half-assed in the extreme.

They observe the shriveled-up corpse, and read that it was originally an Egyptian prince that liked to drain people's blood to absorb their life-force and live forever. Oh god, a vampire mummy? That sounds like a Q.L. Pearce wet dream. The gang decides to stay in the museum overnight and see if the mummy moves around. They do so, but then decide to leave when they see a creepy mask on the wall. Thank you for these characters, Q.L. Pearce, you couldn't have done better.

They find out that the windows are barred and Sean decides to go to the bathroom. The rest of the group eventually follows him, and finds his crumpled and bloodless body. If there's one thing I respect about this story, it's that the token black character doesn't die first, it's the white best friend. Way to save face, Pearce.

Then the mummy grabs and drains Gordon. Charlie and Kristy first try to help, but upon finding out that the mummy is super strong, they give up. The couple runs and hides under a huge bed, where the story goes from bland to spicy. The mummy grabs Kristy's ankle and pulls her out. Charlie tries to hold on to her hand, but gives up and covers his ears to, and I quote, "block out the sound of her tortured struggle." I knew he was no Bud White, but that's pretty pathetic. He then runs away and breaks the lock on the front door, and he runs out–

Oh, but then the police come and he's dead, and the mummy is free to murder the town folk. Too bad the mummy just might meet his match, the gun.

Conclusion: This story is so bad, it doesn't even do the stereotypes justice.

2. "The Room at the End of the Hall"
Brenda and her family just moved to a new house from California. When Brenda goes upstairs to pick her room, she finds herself oddly off-put by the room at the end of the hall. Huh, wouldn't have guessed it would have been that one. She decides to take a different room, giving the room to her brother Ted instead.  How generous. The next morning, Brenda wakes up to find that her brother is gone, and nobody remembers him. Realizing that her brother is now ret gone, Brenda decides that the best course of action would be to let her sister sleep in that same room. This whole concept is a comic book reference, so I can't even try, really.

Her sister disappears, so her parents sleep there. Brenda wakes up later that night and her parents are gone, and people are looking at the house because... it's for sale (dramatic piano)! Turns out they all died in a fire. Thanks, "Nightmare on Sugar Dome" and Clannad!

Conclusion: It wasn't very well-done. There were not many clues, and it just wasn't executed well.

3. "It Waits"
Greg and his friends Valerie and Andre are looking at a newspaper, where there is a badly-taken photograph of the "Silver Bay Monster." Greg's used to this Loch Ness-ripoff propaganda, because he's lived in Silver Bay all his life. But when his cousin Mark comes to visit, Greg decides to take his cousin out boating to prove that the monster doesn't exist. Greg, Mark and Greg's two friends take a boat out, and Greg points out Goose Bank, a bank that gets submerged when there's high tide. This book may not be very scary, or good, so far, but it is pretty dark, I'll give it that. Much like in "Flesh and Blood"– a little too much like in "Flesh and Blood"– all the characters are killed off when the Silver Bay Monster, a giant, dinosaur-like beast, begins attacking.

First, Andre falls out of the boat and is dragged under. Then, the motor floods and Mark and Greg decide to swim to shore. They jump off the boat before it gets flipped over and Valerie goes under. Everybody in this book has to find better friends. Mark disappears, but our protagonist makes it to shore and that's all that matters, right guys? Just kidding, he landed on Goose Bank and the tide is rising.

Conclusion: This story is pretty dark and creepy. It's not relatable in the least, at least not to me because I didn't take a motorboat out in dangerous tides when I was twelve. The ending was kind of clever, and it does do a pretty good job of capturing the terrifying feeling of being in the water when there's something dangerous in there with you. God, is there anything scarier? But it's a little too much like the first story, so it's OK.

4.  "The Roadside Attraction"
Julianne and her parents are driving when they decide to stop to see "The Amazing Alien Beast" and eat lunch. That sounds like a great place to eat lunch. They enter the performance tent and see a magician, Alonzo the Great, appear as if out of thin air. Well, actually it's more as if out of thin hair, as the man is very hairy and has canine features. See, jokes like this are why I don't have ads on the site. But even more important than self-deprecating humor, you as a reader knows what this means, right? Q.L Pearce has created an alien werewolf. Expect a third world war sometime in the near future.

Alonzo makes a few objects disappear by spraying some liquid on them. Because Julianne's an aspiring magician, she decides to steal the bottle. After vanishing some food items into thin air for her friends, Julianne decides that that's not enough and tries to pour it on a cricket, instead. Her dog jumps in the way, and there goes her terrier... I'm debating whether to say this part. You know what, I'll put it as an asterisk so you can choose to skip it. Anyways, there goes her terrier*. It reappears shortly thereafter, so she sprays herself. She is transported to the wolf-man dimension, where Alonzo tells her that only dog-like things can return to her world. If I ever concoct a trans-dimensional potion, I'll make sure it doesn't have such needlessly specific rules. But she is informed that she would make a great sideshow.

*into thin air-ier. I got very little sleep last night.

Conclusion: Even stupider than my puns made it seem.

5. "The Rocking Horse"
Jason's making an end-table with his grandpa, because he loves woodworking. Then this story gets a dramatic change in tone when it goes from "he loved woodworking" to "ever since his parents had been killed" in literally one sentence with no warning. Jason's been living with his grandparents, and since they don't have much money, Jason decides to make his sister a rocking horse out of wood. When he's almost finished with the horse, Jason decides he needs more wood, so he goes out to chop some from a tree at the cemetery. Because Pearce forbid he do it anywhere else. So he builds the horse and places it in the dining room while his five-year-old sister, Sarah, is asleep, the night before her birthday. He swears he can hear the horse rocking in the night, but ignores it because there's no way it will be relevant in the future.

Sarah loves her horse and takes it everywhere with her for the whole day, which says a lot seeing as how there's only so much to do with a rocking horse. Jason notices that she talks to it, and when he asks why she says that she's talking to her friend Mary Elizabeth. This is the same name on a tombstone near the tree that I may have neglected to mention. Jason hears voices in his sister's room that night and discovers a ghost girl leading his sister to the graveyard. My favorite part is how the ghost girl says, "She is my friend... we are going to be together forever," as soon as Jason steps in the room. No hello or anything.

Jason pursues and burns the tree down with a lighter in the span of, like, a minute. I don't think that's how fire works. He rescues his sister and leaves before he can see the new tree start to sprout. I don't think that's how trees work, either.

Conclusion: Aww, this one was sweet. I thought it wasn't a bad story, overall.

 6. "Cave Dwellers"
This one, however, is a different story. It begins after a group of kids watched a movie that, from the description, could be classified as an action-adventure horror Indiana Jones-type tomb exploration thriller zombie flick. They decide that they want to adventure in a tomb themselves, but have only a cave nearby. They heard stories of a mummy, though, so they agree that a cave will do. One mummy story is enough, Pearce. I would say, let's leave it at that, but I think there's more to be said. This story isn't about mummies, it's about invisible bat-people that kill off the kids and are released upon the world. Not only that, but they turn invisible by drinking a special kind of water, then turn visible again by bathing in it. No thanks.

Conclusion: Almost as bad as "The Box," that subpar alien story from the second book, and far too much like it. At least this book had the decency not to have aliens.

7. "A Dead Man's Chest"
Here's a guide on how to make, like, half the stories in this book.
1. Give some background on the setting
Wright's Cove is a town that used to be ruled by a terrible pirate called The Shark. He had some men stationed there, and he would dock there unless one of his pirates rung a warning bell. Wow, The Shark must have had a pretty big boat; is it safe to say the the townspeople... are gonna need a bigger boat? One day, a brave fisherman named Jeremiah Wright staged a coup, capturing the pirates who would ring the bell and then ambushing The Shark. He made him jump off a cliff, saying that as long as the bell rings, the ocean would be The Shark's grave. Oh, irony. In celebration, there's a big festival put on by the citizens of Wright's Cove where they dress up like pirates and ring the bell at midnight.

2. Main character and his three friends decide to challenge some myth or idea about setting
A yearly tradition is not something you want to announce after killing a villain. So, Peter and his friends Mark, Kyle, and Adam decide to hide the bell. Just for kicks, and also I guess because it will piss off and disappoint their whole town. They somehow fit a bell large enough to echo through a town in a suitcase-sized chest and lug it to the beach, where they plan to hide it in a cave.

3. Have aforementioned myth or some equally stupid random threat actually be true and kill the main characters one by one, except for the protagonist, who survives.
What do you know, the pirates come on shore after all. They capture Adam and Kyle, then grab Mark, taking the bell with him. Peter runs for his life and makes it to town, where he sees and tries to warn his costumed mayor.

4. Just kidding, the main character dies
Just kidding, it wasn't the mayor, it was The Shark.

Conclusion: I'm pretty tired of these.

8. "The Hole in the Ceiling"
Michael always knew that his two-year-old sister, Emily, was special. She can already hold a simple conversation, has an overactive imagination, and can make a mean grilled cheese. Emily walks into Michael's room one day and starts talking about one of her imaginary friends, Pop-pops, for no reason other than to set up a twist. She claims that Pop-pops lives in the ceiling, has wings and can teach her how to make things fly. That night, there's a huge storm, which prompts Michael's mom to recount the night of Emily's birth. There was a massive storm, during which the lights went out multiple times. At one point, the mom can swear that she saw a creepy woman crying in the corner of the hospital room, which is probably the scariest thing I've ever heard but OK we can ignore it.

The next day, Emily develops a blue, scaly rash. The doctor has no explanation, so this story sticks with its theme of ignoring signs of doom. That night, Michael hears Emily giggling, and walks in to see toys flying through the air. He yells at her and she drops them. He then calls his parents back from a neighborhood watch meeting (obviously), but they don't believe his tales of floating toys. He retaliates with the brilliant plan of going to sleep. I get it; the evil not-so-imaginary monster will never see it coming. Of course, the story only gets scarier when Michael is woken up and finds his little sister asking him to go with her into the ceiling. He goes to her room, where scaly blue monsters burst through a portal in the ceiling and toss Michael against a wall.

I often give these books crap for being too predictable, but I'll give Q.L. Pearce credit because I did not see that coming. Michael's parents come in, but the weird gargoyle monster paralyzes them with his mind. Turns out that their daughter and the human daughter were switched at birth, obviously, hence the powers. Oh, I get it, it's just like The Parent Trap but with extra-dimensional monsters. The aliens switch the daughters and leave, wiping the parents' memories. The daughter hugs her parents before levitating some toys and wiping Michael's memory.

Conclusion: I really like this one. Winged blue monster people were a pretty stupid development, but overall it was cool and very terrifying. I'd say it was one of the better stories in this book.

9. "The Family Honor"
Gideon is thrilled that his family decided to go to England on vacation. He loves medieval stuff, and the land of King Arthur is a great place to go castle-exploring. In fact, Gideon's second cousin is the caretaker of a castle that used to be run by Gideon's ancestor, Sir Linovore. There's also this story about how Sir Linovore's oldest son was watching the castle gate when he ran away during an attack. His younger son had to take over, but he got stabbed in the side and is rumored to haunt the place. Now, you may be asking why I'm dishing out this information completely straight, with no jokes or anything. Well, it's to prove a point. During the six pages leading up to the following scene, Gideon complains about a fear of the castle and a strange tingling in his side. On the seventh page of this thirteen page story, Gideon holds the younger son's armor and feels an intense pain in his side when he touches the gap that the blade created. I have not read past this point, so I will skip to the end and see if I'm right in my assumption that he's one of the two sons.

Well... I was right. Sort of. It was slightly less intelligent than I expected. Or maybe more, I can't really tell. Basically, a sorcerer sent Gideon forward in time to escape certain death, leaving his brother, Cecil, to die. But now Gideon will die, instead, because that makes sense. It makes me very sad to say that I gave this story too much credit, because the bar was pretty dang low.

Conclusion: I'm probably not the most qualified to write this because I skipped, like, 4 pages, but it was pretty bad. It's like seeing a train hit a car in slow motion, and also you're in the car and have been able to see the train for like half an hour. And it's not even that cool looking.

10. "A Face in the Crowd"
Kelly and her family are at the beach when a man washes up on shore. Don't get too attached to him, because he dies immediately. As she's walking toward the car, Kelly sees a tall, dark-haired woman with a long, grey dress that she sort of recognizes. She goes to sleep early and wakes up to find the woman from earlier walking toward her window. She wakes up to discover it was only a dream, and this was as far as I got but I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that Kelly is actually dead and that the woman is the angel of death. I don't know, though, this one is less obvious.

Wow, I was so wrong and I'm glad to admit it; it was much better than I had anticipated. The day after the dream, Kelly is talking to her friend Wendy about going to camp that Summer. They pass a field, where Kelly recalls the other time she'd seen someone die. It was during a soccer practice that her coach was hit by a car and the woman in grey showed up. Later, Kelly is sitting with friends when she sees a  picture in the paper of the aftermath of a tornado. And standing off to the side is... that's right, David Elliston, from Ghost Writer. Thought that joke was dead? You thought wrong.

Kelly points the woman out, but Wendy insists that it's a joke so her friend Nora doesn't think Kelly's insane, and Kelly reluctantly agrees. I mean... I guess it's kind of funny. On the train to camp, Kelly's finally getting over her fixation when Wendy shows her the picture they took before getting on. The woman in grey is looking through the train window. Conveniently, it's just then that the train crashes or falls off the rails or something. The woman shows up again, but this time for Kelly.

Conclusion: I really liked this one. It's one of the most unique stories in this book, and is able to keep you guessing for a little while. Overall, good story.

11. "Horror in the Center Ring"
Paul is so fed up with his parents wanting him to clean his room, he decides to run away from home with his friend Martin. The pair sees a poster for a circus and decides to join them. Yes, because that's logical and always turns out well. I've seen enough American Horror Story/national news to see where this is going. After a bad fight, Martin runs off without Paul. Paul hears of this from his parents, so naturally he packs up his stuff and follows. When he gets there, the ringleader attempts to capture him, but he evades and decides that he loves home. He finds Martin in one of the tents, where he's been transformed into some sort of half-tiger being. Realizing that his friend has become a furry, Paul decides that Martin is beyond saving and runs away directly into a mirror maze. I'll assume that the other tent exits were as bad or worse than a mirror maze which, if Ray Bradbury has taught us anything, is nothing. What I don't remember from Something Wicked This Way Comes are masks that slowly turn you into human-animal hybrids, which I assume will be wearing cut-off jean shorts and sunglasses, and then later full-on animals. Paul puts on a tiger mask for some reason, and gets thrown in the cage with his friend.

Conclusion: This was a fun story. Not amazingly written, sure, but it had real potential that it could have easily fulfilled if the author had wasted less pages on, say, "The Family Honor," and saved space for stories that couldn't be illustrated on the back of cereal boxes.

Conclusion: This was one of the worst in the series so far. I can safely say that "Super" Scary Stories is false advertising. I want my money back.

Even More Scary Stories for Sleep-overs

1. "The Tune of Terror"
Can I just start by reading you the beginning of the back of the book? "Why is Decker Island known as Danger Island? What is Camp Colby's creepy secret? And just what is Juan's new flute carved out of?" I really think that the writer did a good job of writing questions no one cares to know the answer to. I'm sorry, I just have to point that out, "just what is Juan's new flute carved out of?" It's just so bad. But nonetheless, this is a pretty good story.

It's about a boy named Juan who gets a flute. He's walking around in a market, shopping for a birthday present, when he stumbles upon a mysterious merchant. Because mysterious merchants always have the best in merchandise, Juan asks to buy his strange white flute. After naming what I assume to be a very high price, so high it had to be whispered, Juan talks him down, in one attempt, to– and I'm not joking– three dollars. Keep in mind that this does not take place when three dollars would buy you a flat screen CRT, but two decades ago.

Juan is so excited about his new birthday flute that he has to take it down to the Community Center to try it out. I can't deny the excitement of a new birthday flute. But once he starts playing, the reader is presented a strange, italicized scene of a corpse stirring beneath a grave. Then Juan starts to become uneasy and leaves. The next day, Juan finds out that a guard at the Community Center was killed, and decides to go his friend Roger's house. He shows Roger his gross new flute that Roger says looks as if it's made of bone. He plays another sad song and is shown a corpse wandering around, lamenting having stolen a rich man's horse. As punishment, his left arm was cut off, and he won't rest until he has it. I'm sure some jail time or a fine or something would have been sufficient or at the very least less murderous and illegal, but the law's the law.

That night, Juan is told that Roger's whole family was murdered. Wow. Writing that down makes me realize how violent it is. For whatever reason, Juan decides to play the flute to calm himself, so I guess playing it dramatically decreases your intelligence as well as your good spirits. Then, the evil ghost arrives at his door.

Conclusion: I thought it was good; it takes a little while to figure out the whole bone-arm-flute thing, and it's generally well-written.

2. "The Shape of Fear"
Barbara is giving a report on evil creatures called werepeople in front of her class. These creatures, who were thought to live in her town, are able to change their forms at will to different kinds of animals and monsters and stuff. Apparently, this is an acceptable class report topic for... what, history? English? Intro to Plot Hole Filler? But bad joke aside, it's pretty stupid. Anyway, there were three particularly dangerous werepeople who were caught by Barbara's ancestor, Jonathan Roarke, and hung. Oh, and by the way, the only way to become one is to get bitten. Later, at the store, Barbara is chastised by some stranger for badmouthing the werepeople, but of course she doesn't pay it any mind.

If you think that was stupid, get used to it, people like this character are the reason the Romans used to abandon their infants to the elements. That night, Barbara sees someone digging something up at the tree where the three werepeople were hung. So she does what any child in a children's horror book would do and checks it out alone when it's dark. She digs up a metal box with an animal tooth and a sheet of paper inside before spotting a wolf-like monster in the tree. She runs back to her house and crawls in bed, never mind that her window's open. She reads what's on the sheet of paper because fuck this character, so the three werepeople crawl in through her window and deliver a strange plot twist attempt.

This part is actually pretty confusing. Basically, Jonathan Roarke was a wereperson who turned the three werepeople suspects into werepeople so he could live a normal, non-suspicious life. In return, he arranged for his granddaughter of ten generations to... what, become a wereperson? So the three actual werepeople can turn human again? I think that's right. And it works, since she squeezes Jonathan's animal tooth so hard it breaks skin.

Conclusion: It's OK; the protagonist is moronic and so are the antagonists, but at least it's kind of creepy. Also, try saying "werepeople" three times fast.

3. "Feast of the Hungry Ghosts"
Lubo (yes, that's his name. Not a name, but his name.) has to prepare for a Chinese holiday called "Feast of the Hungry Ghosts" in which people place food and trinkets at the cemetery for their ancestors. Lubo doesn't believe in this tradition, but his grandparents love it and they're visiting from China so there you go. After some complaining, Lubo is dragged away by his friend Tzu Li. I guess I'll ignore the fact that the only two minority characters so far hang out with each other, I'm used to it by now. When Lubo returns home, his grandfather tells him why he has to follow the tradition: if he does,  his ancestors will protect him from the forsaken ones, ghosts who don't have people to give them food and gifts. At the actual ceremony, Lubo decides to steal some of the expensive dishes and gifts come nightfall, and convinces Tzu Li to join him.

That night, the pair is apprehended by a like-minded youth whom they lure away with tales of expensive loot. They take their own loot and are about to exit the cemetery when the kid appears again. Realizing that his unfortunate name doomed him from the start, Lubo also realizes that the kid is a forsaken one.

Conclusion: It's not a very good story. That being said, there was a lot of colorful background information, so it wasn't all bad, but I didn't like it. You have to be pretty immoral to steal from a ceremony like that. Speaking of, happy Columbus Day!

4. "The Invitation"
I'm pretty sure stupid protagonists are a recurring element in this book, because this makes four for four. Kaitlyn and her parents are going to move to her late aunt Judith's house, which was recently left to them. Kaitlyn's parents tell her that the reason she received the house was because she was about the age of her aunt's daughter when she disappeared. The family soon arrives at the beautiful house, and their surly old neighbor is introduced. His name is Howard, and he claims to have some kind of skin-condition that's aggravated by sunlight. Please, please don't let it be what I think it is. We've gone three stories without them, just keep the streak alive.

Later, at a house party, Kaitlyn hears about Aunt Judith's daughter. She was the first in a long string of disappearances that started when a mysterious circus came to town. OK, good, a haunted circus, this is great, this is new. Later, Kaitlyn sees a mysterious girl near her boathouse. When they meet, the girl says that her name is Colleen, and that she wants to be Kaitlyn's friend. But her parents can't know, because of Kaitlyn's house's creepy background. Oh, and she also tells her that Howard is a vampire. Damn.

I thought this would be the book, I really hoped that this would be the collection not to include vampires, but it failed me, of course. But here's the thing about these stories: they often have some kind of unexpected twist, so even though it's pretty obvious who the real vampire is, at least I have that to look forward to.

Colleen tells Kaitlyn to look at Aunt Judith's secret papers. She does, and she discovers that vampires can't survive in the daylight or come into a house uninvited. When night comes around and her parents go into town, Colleen comes to visit. But before she can say anything, Colleen is tackled by Howard. Kaitlyn promptly throws a lamp at his head, and he explains that he's no vampire; in fact, his brother was killed by one, one that was being hidden by the circus. Howard killed the vampire, but not before it bit Colleen. If you think that's a... well, maybe not good, but acceptable twist, then wait for this one. Kaitlyn asks Colleen to come inside and call 911. When Colleen asks if Kaitlyn is officially inviting her in– and keep in mind that this would have been the perfect moment to realize that hey, maybe every clue pointing towards Colleen's status as a vampire should be heeded– Kaitlyn responds "Yes, of course I want you to come in." The twist is that she's a dumbass.

Conclusion: As you know, I don't appreciate the abundance of vampire stories. That being said, despite how stupid the main character is, the story is actually pretty clever, and pulls off this overused plot twist better than I expected. I love the circus backstory, too, that was cool.

5. "Camp Colby"
Jake loves going to camp Colby, and is going on his second summer. He and his friend Eli are part of Red Wing Cabin, along with too many cabin-mates to name (three) and his counselor, Tim. The group heads to orientation and is warned that the camp was once a mining area. Tim seems to stiffen at hearing this, which is obviously completely irrelevant to the story and will not be spoken of again. Later, the campers are around a fire, hearing a cook tell funny stories. When asked to tell a scary story for sleep-overs, the cook talks about the silver-miners that used to work at the mine, a tough lot that was trapped by a cave-in and died. Looks like the area had some miner safety issues, huh?

After claiming that you can still hear their ghostly screams, the cook is rebuked by Tim for claiming that the tragedy is supernatural. Later that night, Tim reveals that he got lost in the mine last Summer. He escaped, and has felt a sense of sympathy for the miners ever since. Tim decides that after everything that's happened so far, it would be best to go and show the children the mine the next day. They head up there when it starts to rain. The group hides in the mine, because I guess a caved-in underground space is safer than the mortal dangers of rain.

The group walks through the tunnels. First, they cross a little river and two of them are sucked under. Then, Eli disappears. When Jake, Tim, and some other camper named Adam reaches a dead end, they see about two dozen miner ghosts. Turns out Tim was possessed and is trying to free his peers with other boys' bodies. Who would've guessed.

Conclusion: Me. Creepy, but far too predictable. I think the worst part is that it broke the stupid protagonist streak.

6. "The Pact"
This one is weird. It's like Q.L. Pearce adopted M.D. Spenser's passion and talent for wasting space. Seriously, nothing happens. And when I say nothing happens, I mean that nothing exciting or scary happens; there's tons of dramatic, coming of age background story. I think you can agree that this story resembles pretty much every chick-flick friendship drama ever.

The story opens with an old woman telling her granddaughter and her friends a story about a giant lizard monster living in a nearby swamp. God, what a cliché. The monster is called a Lakoti, and the grandmother demonstrates its hiss. Char and her friends Jennifer and Jaime attempt and fail to imitate the sound before Char's mom picks them up. Later, at the army base where Jennifer and Jaime live, Jamie thinks about the very amusing friendship the three girls share. Because Char was a local, she showed the girls secrets and useful skills for surviving in the brutal Louisiana environment. They called themselves the "three musketeers," and even have a secret hiding place where they eat lunch.

You know what, I hate to admit it, but that sounds very childhood-esque. I probably did all that stuff when I was a kid. I mean, I probably didn't call a group the "three musketeers" regularly, because, you know, it's stupid, but I probably threw the term around ironically every once in a while. So good job Q.L. Pearce, you can get it right every now and then. As long as they don't make group shirts, you're in the clear.

Anyway, they're moving because Jamie's dad is sent to another army base. And so is Jennifer. But before they leave, they get together in the secret hiding spot and make a blood pact to meet again. I still don't know if those are real, but fine, whatever. Five years later, Jaime returns to Louisiana and finds Jennifer. Because her family was killed in an accident, Char was sent to New York and couldn't be at the bayou. Jaime and Jennifer send her a letter, and a week later, on the day they were supposed to meet, went to the secret place without Char. There, they hear the Lakoti (about goddam time) and begin running back to the house. Soon they get lost, but Char appears and saves them. After they escape the monster, they rejoice and chat and then return to their houses.

Jaime finds a letter from New York in her house. She reads it and learns that Char died three months ago, realizing that not even the grave could keep her friend from meeting again.

Conclusion: Awwwwwwwww, it's so cute. It's not very scary and the characters are all the same, but it's a sweet story, at least.

7. "By Any Means"
This story starts as notorious cheater, Robbie, is called out for cheating. Robbie always cheats, it's kind of his thing. When his teacher gives him a quiz on King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, he tries to cheat off of straight-A student Julian, who blocks him. After school, when Robbie corners him, Julian says that Robbie is "going to end up looking like a fool, just like King Arthur's court jester." I really couldn't make this up if I tried, it's perfect. But anyway, the county fair comes along. Robbie goes with his friends and spends five dollars in quarters trying to win a toy lightsaber which this book calls a "laser sword." Wow, this character's such an idiot he highway robs himself, this doesn't even need an antagonist.

Speaking of... sort of... Julian then walks by with a new laser sword. When Robbie confronts him about it, Julian claims he earned it and then insults his intelligence. Robbie's pride is hurt, so he bets Julian ten dollars for whoever can get the best prize the next day. Screw cheating, the worst crime in this book by far is the way this kid just shreds money. They part ways, and then Robbie yells at his friends in his frustration. Luckily, a stranger invites him behind a booth with the promise of assistance. If you had doubts about whether or not he was trustworthy before, when he steps into the light, you find out he's dressed like a clown. Sign me right up.

Creepy Clown Man offers him awesome toys if he can run through a maze before the exit closes. He offers to let Robbie try it at midnight so he'll have an advantage over his friends the next day. Please, please don't accept, you would have to be missing any basic human survival instincts to even consider, this is obviously some kind of John Wayne Gacy shit that you don't want to be apart of. So he accepts. The clown shoves him into the maze after he starts to protest. First, he falls through a trapdoor and onto a dragon. He escapes, and finds the exit. But it's blocked by some weird skeleton soldier thing. Then the scene ends as Robbie charges past it. In the next scene, Julian is disappointed that Robbie didn't show up, and the clown pulls out a little Robbie jester doll.

Conclusion: Quite scary, actually. The story is actually pretty good, because the characters begin to show signs of a third dimension, and it's pretty damn frightening.

8. "The Power of the Mind"
Arienne always feels bad for poor Robert, a friendless know-it-all. Because he's always so holier-than-thou, he's constantly made fun of for little things like his large ears and how his grandfather was committed to and died in a mental asylum. For example, his teacher describes the basilisk in class, saying that looking into its eyes turns you into clay. When Robert points out that it actually turns you into stone, the teacher makes fun of him in front of the class. You know you have to change when the people paid to put up with you can't even do it. Later, at lunch, Arienne tries to comfort Robert when a bully named Joe taunts him. When Joe walks away, a statue falls and nearly crushes him, and Robert mentions that maybe his teacher should meet the basilisk himself.

The next day, Arienne finds out that her teacher is dead, his skin is cold and hard, and his house is wrecked. At lunch, she sees Joe and Robert argue before Robert runs away. Arienne finds him in the library, where he's looking at a picture of a dragon. The day after, Joe was found burnt to a crisp. Arienne decides to finally confront Robert, so I guess it took two brutal deaths for her to actually do something. Robert's been using his grandfather's old journal to manifest hate. Accept it. Arienne runs away to find the cops because I guess phones hadn't been invented in 1994. Then a gargoyle tries to kill her. I think her biggest mistake was pissing off the evil superpower kid, that was stupid for a whole bunch of reasons.

After a small chase scene, she runs back to the library, where she faces Robert. She dodges his pet in time for it to knock him off the roof, and everything is happy and great. Also there are three people dead. And the journal is found by someone else.

Conclusion: This one's not very good and extremely unremarkable. There's not much else to it.

9. "Family Reunion"
The book begins as Mark and his little brother Pete are driving to a family reunion, playing a game of point-out-things-you-see-in-alphabetical-order. I'm sure it's more fun than it sounds. When they arrive in King City, they are greeted by their Uncle Ed and Aunt Belinda. When they enter their grandma, Ruby's, house, they are told that she's not feeling good. Then Grandma Ruby walks in and starts grumpily insulting people before scratching her scaly arm. A great start to a great trip.

The next day, the brothers find out that their grandma is gone. When they ask Aunt Belinda, she refuses to answer them and scratches her similarly scaly arm. Then his Uncle Milo, his oldest living relative, marches in and grabs and looks at Pete and Mark's hands. He demands that Mark come with him to a warehouse, and he obeys without question. And then Pete notices that the skin on his wrist is red and itchy, but ignores it despite every detail in this book. This is a very odd protagonist; for one thing, he's younger than the average middle-schooler. And he either jumps to really inane conclusions or doesn't reach any conclusions at all, which is probably the most entertaining aspect of the story.

Inspired by his missing brother, Pete sneaks out to the warehouse the next night. He finds a room in which his missing family members are lying down, covered in sticky silk. Then he's ambushed by Uncle Milo and taken back to the farm, where his remaining family already knows what's happening. When his grandma comes in, now looking younger and better, he understandably freaks out and non-understandably asks if "the old people take over the bodies of the young." See, that's the kind of thing I'm talking about; even with all the things he's seen, how do you reach that conclusion? So yeah, he's wrong. Then he runs away, but is soon found and taken to the warehouse.  So, what could really be happening here?

They're aliens. Of course.

Conclusion: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

10. "Nightmare on Sugar Dome"
Cody wakes up to a beautiful, snow-filled day. He decides to skip school to go to the nearby ski park, Sugar Dome. So he does. First, he goes to The Lodge, where he rents skis and poles from his friend Tracey, who's a guy even though he has what might be the least gender neutral name ever. Cody gets on a tram and feels a little chill, ignoring it which... I mean, it's snowing, so that's understandable. Cody looks around the car and observes the other passengers: a woman with a pony tail and a jumpsuit, a man with a cast on his wrist, a girl his age and her parents, and an elderly couple. The perfect team.

All of a sudden, the cable-car swings and Cody hits his head, getting knocked out. When he comes to, he's alone in the cable-car. He begins skiing and says hi to a random skier, who ignores him. Well, I guess sociality died when they did whoops spoiled it. But after several more awkward instances involving dead people– shoot, I just can't stop– Cody overhears Tracey talking about how tragic something that happened was. In case you couldn't piece it together, here's what happened.
Cable-car fell –> Cody died.

Cody then gets bored and starts playing a game in the arcade. He sees the girl his age watching him, but she disappears when he turns around. He is then scared by the cast-guy, who appears behind him, and stared at by the elderly couple. When he finally accepts the truth, a cable-car comes down and opens up for him and the gang.

Conclusion: You can't tell, but this one was amazing. It was actually not super easy to figure out, and the whole thing was effectively spooky. Great story.

11. "Danger Island"
This post has been in progress for, like, a month. I'm done. Just let this awful story go untold. Need more convincing? Well, have you seen The Blob or Little Shop of Horrors? If so, or not, this story still sucks! Need more? "He knew that he had been wrong. This Venus's-flytrap [sic?] was indeed very special... and very hungry."

Conclusion: Just leave it.

Conclusion: There were some treasures, but this book was mostly unremarkable and unintelligent. And god did it take forever.